Saturday, March 21, 2009
maybe

Lots of tutorials and school work to catch up on. Dont want the same situation to happen like last semester, where I spent too much time trying to catch up on what I missed out during the reading week. By that time, it will be too late.

Sometimes I wonder, why I am spending so much effort on my studies. I am spending at least 3 times the effort as I ever did in my entire schooling life. To others, it might not seem like much, and yea, I tend to play from time to time (perhaps a little too much at times, lol), but as long as I know I am putting in my effort, I will be contented.

To live up to expectations? What am I doing this for? For myself, or for others? Perhaps it is both.

Almost got back all my mid term results. Ok, at least did fairly well, no major complaints there. That is the problem, however. My endurance ends at mid terms, and I will lag behind in the syllabus. It has happened again.

Phew! It is difficult to maintain a constant pace, I will admit that. Haha.

My dad was lecturing my brother the other day, since he was planning to get married soon. Certain things he said, stuck with me. Deep down inside, I already knew it, but he just further enforced it. You need to make sure your future is secured.

Maybe, just maybe, that is where a good foundation in education comes in. I may be wrong, but just...maybe.

Sunday, March 08, 2009
help my toes

Gah! Feeling a mixture of negative feelings right now. Depression, loneliness, helplessness.

Why? I really don't know. Hai. Just feeling so...not happy.

Yesterday I was crossing the road at the junction near my house. Let's just say if I had merrily crossed and assumed cars would definitely stop when the green man came on, I would have ended up in hospital. Bitch-ass driver never slowed down. Nearly ran over my toes too. Lucky SOB that my glasses were blurry. Only saw SGH something and missed the rest.

Sometimes I wonder, how would things change if my multiple close shaves with disaster actually did come true?

Scary thoughts. Better not to think about them. They would start to seem welcoming.

ps. I don't try to sound emo all the time. It is because I am feeling this way at whichever point in time that I blog about it. To release any strong emotions that may overwhelm me. To prevent, even IMO, chilling thoughts from forming. To breath.